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Take some time off

17-Mar-2017



Go ahead....I've got your out of office message covered. Pick from one of these.

  1. Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
  2. Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.
  3. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
  4. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Anthony’.
  5. On annual leave, hope to win the lottery and never return.
  6. Your message contained 15 characters too many for our system to accept at the present time. Please re-format and re-send.
  7. On a beach, no laptop, no iPhone. Back [date].
  8. I am away until [date]. During my absence, please contact [name]. He won’t help you either.
  9. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
  10. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
  11. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  12. I’m not in the office right now but if it’s important, tweet me using #YOUAREINTERRUPTINGMYVACATION.
  13. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 5/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
  14. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  15. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
  16. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
  17. If you’re reading this, Doc Brown was unable to make lightning strike the clock tower, and I’m stuck in 1985. I won’t be able to respond to emails or voicemail until 9ish on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012, or until email is invented — whatever comes first.
  18. I am away from the office right now. Unfortunately, I will be back tomorrow.
  19. I am no longer checking this email account. The company and I reached a settlement, and in exchange for my not coming within 500 feet of their offices, I will not serve any time.
  20. I am away until [date]. I have full access to phone and email, but refuse to use them for work.
  21. I am attending training for one week. Don’t expect any difference when I return. I’m out of the office, and probably drinking.
  22. I will be on holiday from [date] to [date]. Each person may send me one email while I am gone. I will randomly delete multiple emails from you until only one is left. You have already sent me one email.
  23. I’ve run away to join the circus. A different one.
  24. I’m away until [date]. If you have an immediate issue, contact [name]. If your issue is not immediate, why are you emailing me?
  25. I cannot handle your emails until I return on [date]. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
  26. I am currently out of the office. I have a cell phone, but I will not be giving the number out. If you can guess the number, however, I will take your call.
  27. Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
  28. I am currently out of the office and probably out-of-my-mind drunk. Enjoy your workweek.
  29. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
  30. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
  31. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
  32. I will be out of the office on medical leave for the next 2 weeks. When I return, please call me Loretta instead of Steve.
  33. I am out of the office until [date]. Enjoy the quiet.
  34. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
  35. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
  36. I’m away from my desk at the moment. My cubicle and computer are still here, but someone took my desk. I’ve gone off to look for it.
  37. I am out for the day at a doctor’s appointment. My brain is being removed so I can enter management.
  38. I stayed at a motel last night because of the weather, and my cat ran under the bed, which is bolted to the floor.
  39. I can’t ask the chambermaids to help me catch the cat, because I’m not supposed to have a cat in here. As soon as the cat comes out, I’ll be back in to work.
  40. I’m not out of the office. I’m ignoring you.





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